Why You Should Jump Into Your Fears Today
“I had this paradigm in my head: If I just stand here long enough, the fear will go away and I’ll jump and I’ll be fearless. That didn’t happen. I discovered instead how not to be stopped by my fear. Maybe I couldn’t banish all my fears, but I made the choice to stop allowing them to rule my life. ”
I used to think that the best way to handle fear was to sit and wait for it to subside. That the fear would eventually dissipate so that I could finally move towards whatever I was striving for. But that didn't work. I had so many dreams and goals, of owning a business, of being able to work from anywhere, to create social change, but I also had so many fears that were holding me back: fear of failing, fear of letting down my family, fear of putting myself out there, fear of being seen, fear of judgement...these fears were holding me stuck and keeping me paralyzed. I would always hear in my mind, I can't do this until I feel ready.
Little did I know at the time, the fear was not going to go away on it's own. The only way to dismantle your fear is to get up close to it and do exactly what you're afraid of. Except I didn't fully realize this until actually jumping into a new career, new chapter, and making many life changes. Although fear never fully goes away, I do have less fear now that I am actually doing what scares me. It's still there, but way more manageable now that I know why it's there. Being self-employed is the quickest way to test if you're really ready to jump into your fears.
What I now know is that you never feel ready. I would never feel ready unless I jumped head first into the fears. You must believe in yourself and know that you are ready. That the very reason fear exists is to test you, keep you complacent, and maintain your safety and comfort. If you have a strong feeling that you want to do something, it's because you are ready.
Fitness model: Andrea Wise Photographer: Amanda Mausner MUA: Makeup by Aga
I always refer back to the book Fierce Medicine written by my yoga teacher Ana Forrest. The message of this book is that the best way to overcome your fears is by stalking them, getting up close to them to understand their root cause, and learning how to manage them using tools such as yoga, self-awareness, and meditation. When I first read the book a few years ago before my yoga teacher training the book took on an alternative meaning because I was in different place in my life at the time. The definition and understanding of fear was unfamiliar to what I know now because of the experiences I had had up until that point. It's fascinating how knowledge and it's meaning can change depending on when you receive it in your life.
Ana identifies five steps to help you manage your fears and ultimately achieve your goals - whatever they may be. The main point of her argument is that you must continue to do whatever you are afraid of. Afraid of birds? Continue to find and spend time with them. Afraid of public speaking? Do it again and again. The point being, fear keeps you paralyzed until you get up close and hang out with it.
Ana's five steps for changing your relationship with fear:
1. Identify the fear
2. Turn around, hunt it, stalk it
3. Stop making decisions based on fear
4. Find the healing within the fear
5. Snuggle up to your fear
Ultimately, your fear is connected to your purpose, your up-level, your lessons, and your biggest point of growth. If you want to see big changes in your life, you must act on your fears. Fear doesn't mean you should turn back, it means it time to ask questions and push forward. Why is your fear there? What is it telling you?
If you're in Chicago and interested in getting up close to your fear, talking about it, stalking it, and healing from it, come join me for a workshop on July 25th from 7-9pm. It's going to be a fun, casual, and vulnerable group discussion about goal setting and dismantling fear. Light snacks and vino provided! Message me to sign up!
If you would like to explore this path for yourself, or if any of this resonated with you, please schedule a complimentary call with me to determine if we're a good fit together. Schedule your call here.
Finally, I will leave you with a quote from the book relating to taking on your fears. Never stop dreaming but make you sure jump into the fire sooner or later!
“I’d believed that in order to do what I was afraid of, I had to get rid of the fear first, but that turned out to be only an idea, not the truth. You have to do something two hundred times before the fear will disperse. Are you still afraid of something? Just do it again. Do it again. Do it again.”