Vulnerability is Disarming

This has been a rough week for so many of us, following the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I can probably speak for the world in saying many of us are heartbroken. Suicide hits a lot of people, especially families of vets, and it usually sends shockwaves throughout. 

I’ve also been seeing many messages in the past week about encouraging people who are depressed/suicidal to ask for help or to call a number etc., which is great for some, don’t get me wrong, but this quick bandaid reaction has rubbed me the wrong way.  I think there are different ways we can react and create social change. Some of the change can start within all of us. 

Let’s be real for a sec. This thing call life can be a shitshow. For everyone. Do you share openly about the good, bad, and ugly in your life? Are you comfortable doing so? Many people are not open with their ups and downs. How do we expect people who are deeply hurting on another level to share as well?

When I share vulnerably to friends, colleagues, or strangers it completely drives the conversation to a deeper place and disarms the person or group from feeling like they have to have it all together. It opens the door for them to share a personal challenge as well. Every single time I’ve cracked myself open and shared something real, I’ve created the space for someone to do the same. 

So instead of putting the action onto people who are already hurting so much, can we change our culture that tries to make everyone pretend to have it all together? Can we incorporate the idea of opening up who we really are? The more YOU break down the facades, the more others will feel comfortable to do the same.

Vulnerability is disarming. Especially when I work with my clients or speak in groups. I always share my story that includes fear, failure, shame, anxiety…and the results I see are almost instant. People’s eyes open wide. They feel this comfort in knowing they aren’t alone. That careers are messy and include fucking up. 

Changing our culture begins with you. It’s okay to have a shitty day, month, or year…next time try opening up to someone who doesn’t expect it, and see what happens. The world needs your openness and vulnerability today. 

Looking to breakdown your own walls? Come here to connect with me about what steps you can take.

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