Why I Decided to Invest in My First Career Coach
Funny enough, a few years ago, I had little idea what coaching was or how it could benefit me. It did not occur to me why I, an intelligent, ambitious, functioning (mostly) person, would ever need a coach.
Yet, when I think back to a few years ago, I was really struggling to navigate my inner compass, or inner directional knowing.
As someone who has always invested in bettering myself via fitness, yoga, personal training, healthy eating, and travel, it never occurred to me consider personal growth or career coaching during a time of question or confusion.
As a society, we are so encouraged to invest money towards external luxuries, such as going to the gym, hiring personal trainers, shopping at Whole Foods, traveling, attending concerts, buying gifts for the holidays, however, we don't often see, in the mainstream, a focus on investing in our own mind, soul, and growth.
I happily wandered in my twenties, like many do, but I always had this feeling of inner turmoil when it came to my career. Caught between the pressure to follow a more conventional path or the desire to follow something more meaningful, the pull in many directions always loomed over me. Up until that time, I had taught yoga, led college courses, worked in sales for a high-end gym, and also ran some smaller health and wellness start-ups. I always found a way to infuse my interests and passions in my career; I am not the best at doing work that isn't interesting or aligned with my purpose or truth.
Yet at the time, I still felt a sense of shame for not choosing a "traditional" and "linear" career [read: law, medicine, finance], because that was the message I was inundated with growing up. That success is tied to choosing a linear career, with a big salary. Because I was unsure of the future and what I really wanted [read: overcome with fear and uncertainty], I decided to join a management consulting firm, which was recommended to me by a friend. It certainly felt more secure, stable, and successful to me at the time.
But after some months, all of the skills I wanted to be using in my career: helping and empowering people, improving organizations, leading workshops, and educating, were sitting dormant on a shelf.
Instead, I was doing tasks and activities that were so far from my skillset. But mostly, I felt undervalued. I was belittled. There lacked transparency. The manager was toxic. I was micromanaged.
The pain of not using my gifts and potential grew so large that I experienced symptoms such as anxiety, brain fog, anger, and disconnect. It was debilitating and scary.
I tried to make myself feel better by doing research on my own. I started to use the internet as an escape tool. I searched for things like, "How can I find my purpose?" or "Should I quit my job?".
After countless articles, videos, online trainings, I stumbled upon the email list of a career coach who I really resonated with. She connected to my pain. She was a former successful consultant in the corporate world who burnt out and decided to become a coach.
She was only offering a self-study course at the time, which seemed perfect for me. It was seven weeks and it costed...$497. Gasp.
I gasped.
Let me first start off by saying that no one (or mostly no one) has a coaching budget set aside. I certainly did not have the money to sign up with my first coach. But I made the choice to take a risk.
Up until this point, I had only enlisted the help of one career coach years before, and it was a less than positive experience, that left me crying in the office (not the good, cathartic cry, but the I-feel-shamed-by-someone-cry). That really tainted my experience with coaches. Otherwise, I hadn't sought the help or advice of anyone else regarding my career.
How could I ever spend $497 on a career coaching program? It seemed like so much money to me (and it was!). I had never spent money on myself like that...except I did, just not on the internal work. I spent it on fitness, travel, beauty maintenance, and other external luxuries.
“Let me first start off by saying that no one has a coaching budget set aside. I certainly did not have the money to sign up with my first coach. But I took the risk ”
Immediately I thought, no, I can't spend this money. With bills, weddings, travel, dining out, in my mind I convinced myself that I just didn't have the funds for this.
Another week or two went by and I was still thinking about the program in the back of my head. I really liked the coach who was teaching it and I still felt really stuck.
I emailed the coach, not knowing whether she or her assistant would email me back, letting her know I was interested but scared to invest.
She responded quickly and said, "Why are you looking to join?"
I wrote back and said, "I am stuck and unsure of what I want to do with my career."
Her response was simple, "Clarity comes from action."
“You are not broken if you use a coach. You are brave. ”
I knew right then that I had to take action. That I had to stop being afraid of spending money on myself and being fearful of the unknown. That I had to trust that this was a good decision. I realized that the money would be insignificant if I got the results that I wanted [clarity in my purpose and career direction].
I nervously handed over my credit card number and dove into the unknown. I trusted myself that I would do the work and see results. And I did.
It's important for me to look back and remember how I perceived coaching and the benefits of asking for help in order to understand my prospective clients.
This is what we’re taught:
You're unhappy? Go shopping.
You're feel your pants are tighter than usual? Go to the gym.
You feel unhappy in your job? Drink on the weekends or suck it up.
The reality is, is that these are shorter-term solutions. Long-term solutions tackle the root cause: your thoughts, patterns, and behaviors holistically and game plan for the future.
I didn't know that. You may not know that. How can we become a society that views personal or career coaching as an acceptable method for high functioning, ambitious, already whole people [read: all people are whole]?
Seeking services such as therapy or coaching, have been typically seen through the lens that a person has a deficit; however, I believe it's the complete opposite. I think that people who seek help are brave, open-minded & ready for a new perspective, and open to growing and evolving. Having a person to cheer you on, hold you accountable, call you out, help you heal, open your eyes, is incredibly invaluable.
You are not broken if you use a coach. You are brave.
Changing the perspective on how we change and seek help, and making it more acceptable to do so, will encourage so many more people to reach out in need, rather than stay stuck in their minds. Because coaching is not as mainstream of a service, especially in certain areas of the world, most people do not have a "coaching budget" set aside like they do for a fitness or vacation budget. It may still feel shameful or vulnerable to some, especially when they are mostly high functioning, ambitious, and open-minded.
It's about looking inside and admitting whether you're stuck and ready to get to your next level. It's about deciding to better your mind/spirit/body and overall health. It's the best investment I ever made up until that time and I've worked with several coaches since then (both one-on-one and in groups). It takes someone who is really ready make a change, to invest in themselves like this.
“Having a person to cheer you on, hold you accountable, call you out, help you heal, open your eyes, is incredibly invaluable. ”
Money is money. It comes and goes. We have a system set up to make money. Although it's not accessible for everyone all of the time, money is a currency that can be replenished. We can always make money. But time, we can't make up time. We never get time back.
If you would like to explore this path for yourself, or if any of this resonated with you, please schedule a complimentary call with me to determine if we're a good fit together. Schedule your call here.
Coach | Consultant | Educator | Speaker